She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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