my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
