the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize