I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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