You're so nebulous sometimes
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
