i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
