Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
