Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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