We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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