Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
