I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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