You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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