i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
