Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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