Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
