So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
