Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
