party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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