they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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