Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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