shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
