I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
