i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
