last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Found your dick twin last night
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
false alarm, still single
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
