you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
