420 ftw
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
