Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
