yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
