The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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