I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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