He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
