i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
