no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
