They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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