that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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