fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
