i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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