you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize