Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
