I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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