Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i now understand why vodka
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
