just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
