don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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