My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So much rum. So many feels.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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