She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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