O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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