its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
