lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize