If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
