you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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