I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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