wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
