And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
