i would punch a child for taco bell
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
