just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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