the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
