i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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