i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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