it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
