I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
