Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
